Moving on after someone you cared for deeply is one of the hardest things us modern humans have to do. Having the capacity to even notice a new person, their advances or personality that matches yours is tough if your thoughts are with constantly someone else, and no amount of matchmaking from your friends, HIV positive dating, or meeting new people can change that. Getting on with your life is further complicated if you know he’s already got a new love interest and seems to be happy. Today, we take a look at our top 3 tips to help you deal with the fact that your ex-boyfriend/husband now has a new life with her.
1. Don’t Seek Them on Social Media
The amount of pain that you feel knowing that he is now in the arms of another woman is tremendous, and one thing you should not do is add fuel to that fire. Constantly searching them on social media, spying on her and following him like you used to can only make matters worse. First of all, nobody portrays their real life on the internet, and literally everyone presents things in a much better light, which is essentially the point of even having social media. So, the things that you’ll see won’t be real. They’ll resemble reality, but they won’t be real. Still, they will drive a knife through your heart. Furthermore, you should help yourself and un-follow your ex, stop getting notifications from him and make sure he doesn’t pop up in your newsfeed anymore. As painful as it is to block him, which essentially feels like letting go, it will help you heal faster and find your inner peace again.
2. Block All Contact
Nowadays, the first place to block contact is on social media, not in real life, and that’s fine as long as we’re fully aware of the time we live in. Once you’ve blocked him, and stopped looking her up several times a day, eliminate all offline contact as well. Stop talking to his friends or sister because they won’t be able to help themselves and will regularly notify you of all the things that are happening in his life, and every time you find out about something unrelated to you or with what you had together, your wound will open all over again.
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t talk to him at all unless you have children together or have assets to divide or divorce proceedings to go through. The more you talk to him, the more you’ll have a constant reminder of the time he used to love you and how wonderful it all was. Be strong in the beginning and cut all ties so you get back on your feet faster to spare yourself the additional pain.
3. Psychotherapy Will Help You
Psychotherapy works wonders for all those individuals dealing with acute stress and finding out or facing the fact that your ex is happy with someone else undoubtedly fits the bill. Find a therapist that matches your lifestyle, personality, and needs, someone who’ll understand you well and with whom you’ll be able to identify. Have a session or two a week, talk about your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and anything that comes to mind that you can connect to your current state. A good psychotherapist will help you understand where all those feelings are coming from, help you confront them head-on, and deal with them in a constructive way. That’s what professionals are for!